How to Overcome a Challenge

Settle Down
If at all possible, take time to collect yourself and get centered. Your ability to do this will be affected by the specific challenge you are facing, but even five seconds of deep breathing can have a profound impact on your ability to handle a situation.

Most people tend to respond to the stress created by the initial impact of a crisis more than to the actual situation. Their internal stress adds to the initial stress, sending them into a downward stress spiral, and they quickly lose their ability to maintain their composure and think clearly. You can prevent this scenario if you can settle yourself internally.

In my case, after I managed to get to the side of the road and attempted unsuccesffully to re-start the engine, I did a few things to bring myself down from the initial moment of panic. First, I turned the volume down a little on the CD player (turning it off might have caused a fit from my daughter, which would not have helped.) I then simply said, "just a sec" to my wife, and took five slow, deep breaths. After bringing my stress levels down, I was ready to assess my situation.
Change Your Perspective
There is an expression that states, "When you change the way you look at something, the thing you are looking at changes." If you can step back for a moment and try to look at your situation objectively, you can usually re-define the crisis in a way that makes it easier to bare, and will often reveal answers you couldn't see from your orginal vantage point.

Some crises are more diffcult to step back from than others, and when the lives of our loved ones are involved, this process may require the assistance of professional help. Whatever crisis you may be facing, remember that EVERYTHING is a matter of perspective.

You can try to imagine the crisis was happening to someone else, and they were asking you for advice on how to deal with it. What would you tell them? It's amazing how we can know the right thing to say to our friends and family in times of need, but we rarely heed our own advice. So, if you change your viewpoint just a little, you can trick yourself into taking a step back and gaining a little objectivity.

Here is an exercise demonstrating the power of perspective. Wherever you are as you're reading this, take a moment to look behind you and note everything you see that is red. It doesn't matter how small or what shade of red, just look for anything that has any red in it, and take note of as many details as you can. Take a moment and do this now, then come back to the screen.

Now, without turning back around, keep looking directly at the screen and describe out loud everything you saw that was green, in the same detail as you were prepared to use to describe the red objects.

The point is, if you only focus on one thing, you lose sight of something else. If you recognize this principle, you can begin to make it work for you, instead of against you.

In my case, I thought about all the objective factors of our situation. The temperature was very high, but it was not life-threatening in the immediate future. Our car was sitting on the shoulder, out of danger. The nearest exit was less than a mile away. We had cell phones and AAA memberships. We had credit cards with available credit for emergencies. The conference was not starting until the next day, so we did not have an immediate time issue. Taking an objective look at all of this allowed me to start to think of solutions to our problem.
Focus on your Goal
Reminding yourself about why you set out on this journey in the first place will help you to give even greater perspective to the immediate challenge. You'll be able to view it more as a bump in the road, because you'll see there is a bigger picture to consider.

Of course, this is why it's SO important to clarify your goals to yourself at the beginning of your journey, whether it is a physical trip, gaining an education, or undetaking a new business venture. Without a clear understanding of where it is you want to end up, it will be MUCH harder to keep from getting sidetracked when the inevitable challenege presents itself.

If my family and I had simply been driving to Las Vegas on a whim in the hopes of finding a place to stay and maybe finding an interesting lecture to attend, my reaction to our situation would probably have been much different.

I would be considering the possibility of getting AAA to tow us and our car back home. Instead, I was focused on finding a nearby service center to get us back on the road and headed toward our waiting hotel room and seminar that had all been booked well in advance.
Take Action
Once you've focused on your goal, determine if there is anything you can personally do to move yourself a little closer to that goal, even in this trying time. A crisis can have paralyzing effects, and the longer you wait to do something, the harder it will become. Even if the action is more of a symbolic gesture, you are putting out the right kind of energy to work through the challenge and resolve the issue.

The mere act of making the attempt to do something will help to set things in motion for a resolution to the problem. Also, by focusing on what you are doing, you won't be as apt to think about all the difficulties the challenge presents.

The first thing I did was have my wife call AAA, while I looked under the hood. I don't really know much about cars, but at least I could eliminate something obvious as the cause. I noticed we were less than a mile away from the next exit, so I got back in the car and tried the engine again. It started, but cut out again after just a few seconds.

My wife had reached AAA, but they said it could take as long as 45 minutes to get to us. I started the car again, and this time managed to drive about 30 feet before the engine cut out. I continued this process, sometimes able to move the car 20 or 30 feet, and sometimes not at all. After about fifteen minutes, I finally pulled our car into a service station located just a block or so past the off ramp.
Show Your Gratitude
This can be difficult, but when you are faced with a crisis one of the very best things you can do is remind yourself what you have to be grateful for. If you are having trouble altering your perspective in order to gain some objectivity, this gratitude exercise will almost always help.

Showing your gratitude can instantly make you feel at least a little better about whatever challenge you are facing. Think of everything you have to be grateful for, and you'll soon realize you are more blessed than you often let yourself believe. Also, as shown in the red/green exercise above, if you start out by focusing on the green (gratitude), you'll lose sight of the red (crisis).

If you are a fan of The Secret or believe in the 'Law of Attraction' then you already know that it is a good idea to focus on what you are happy to have in your life, rather than what you want to be rid of. The idea is that the Universe works through reciprocal energy, and reflects back to you what you are giving your attention and energy to.

There are many expressions that capture the essence of this principle. "Like attracts like" is one example, and another is "Where your focus goes, the energy flows."

Being grateful for what you have is just one factor in helping you overcome difficult times, but it certainly be one of the most powerful. If you can accomplish this when times are tough, it can help to diffuse many challenges, and you will find yourself facing less crises, and more opportunities for growth in the future.

Once we were in the service center waiting area, I recognized that I had a lot to be grateful for. My family was safe. We were told the car could be repaired that day. I had the means to pay for the repairs. We would make it to the seminar in time.

I could just as easily have focused on the negative aspects of the situation, but I chose to be grateful for everything I had going for me. It put me at ease and allowed me to enjoy the unexpected play time with my wife and daughter while the car was being repaired.
Look for the Lesson
Have you ever known someone who has the same bad experience repeat itself over and over again? Maybe they keep getting into car accidents, get laid-off, or taken advantage of by other people. Maybe you're thinking this sounds like you.

These incidents can seem to be beyond your personal control. The reality is, until you learn the underlying lesson, you're likely to continue to have similar 'mishaps' in the future. If you don't want history to repeat itself, learn from the experience the first time.

This is an obvious truth if the challenge came about as a direct result of your actions or lack of them. If the IRS audits you because your self-filed tax return was full of red flags, the lesson might simply be to hire an accountant to do your taxes. But what about when things happen over and over that seem to be beyond your control? What if you just keep happening to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? Just an unlucky coincidence, right? Wrong.

Coincidence is a word we use to rationalize (Read: Rational Lies) an experience and isolate it from the rest of our lives. If the same thing happens to you over and over again, then you really need to pay attention and look deeper. Until you are willing to expose the underlying lesson, you will continue to experience similar challenges in the future.

Once you really embrace a challenge and accept that you have something to learn from it, you'll be amazed to discover that scenario stops presenting itself to you. When you finally "get it" then you are ready to move on and grow from the experience.

In addition to looking for your personal lesson stemming from the challenge, you need to remember that you are not living in a vacuum. Part of the beauty and the wonder of our lives stems from the fact that we live and learn by interacting with other people. So, our lessons become intermingled with theirs.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, guided by our choices, and sometimes you are going through the experience to help someone else learn an important lesson in their lives.

One lesson in the case of our car was simple. Regular maintenance would have prevented this problem, because the fuel filter had gotten clogged and strained the fuel pump more and more until it finally burned out. There was actually another lesson that was a little more subtle, though.

I realized I had actually learned a lot over the last year, and had gained the ability to handle a stressful situation much better than I used to. My wife commented to me about this, too. The lesson was that I knew more than I had been giving myself credit for, and could help others with this information.

After being helped with such wonderful attention by the owner of the shop and his mechanic, I also considered later that I ended up in that specific shop to help him learn something. He told me had just taken over the shop a few weeks before. I might have been there to validate for him that he was running his shop the right way, and to continue to focus on customer service. I certainly made it clear that I was very grateful for the service he provided us.

The point is, we don't always know why things happen the way they do, but if we can consider the other people involved and how the experience might have impacted them, the reason may stand out more clearly to us.
Know When to Ask for Help
Sometimes the lesson is realizing your limitations. You might think you have to personally overcome every obstacle that comes your way, but a better approach is to find people who are familiar with the landscape of what you are facing, and have the ability to help you through it.

One of our greatest strengths is our ability to reach out and ask for help from others. We can accomplish far more this way than we could ever do on our own.

Other people might have a greater ability to handle a certain aspect of your challenge than you do. Additionally, they will be viewing it from a different perspective, and might find solutions you never would have come up with. Getting their help can free you up to focus your energy and determine how your personal strengths can be best put to use in overcoming the challenge.

I could have driven to a library or book store instead of a service station, and found a book on car repair. After spending a great deal of time reading, maybe I could have figured out it was the fuel pump that was in need of repair. Of course, I really wouldn't be better off knowing this, because I didn't have the proper tools necessary to make the repair, such as a car jack or the wrenches to remove the gas tank.

I recognized that this was a situation which called for an expert, and I didn't know anyone personally who could have helped me in this situation. I would have to find an expert and pay for that expertise, but the cost was well worth it when I considered the alternative.

Whether you are repairing your car, trying to get into better shape or are looking for network marketing training, you will definitely benefit from having an experienced guide working with you.
Conclusion
The next time you're faced with a difficult situation, try to remember these points. Even if you don't manage to apply all of them, you'll be much better off than if you didn't apply any of them.

No one is perfect, and some challenges will be harder to overcome than others. One of your most valuable tools is your resource of friends, family and associates. If you feel you aren't able to handle the situation on your own, solicit the help of people you know who can assist you. If you don't personally know someone equipped to handle your situation, consider bringing in an expert who can consult with you to guide you through the process of resolving the issue, or can take some of the burden from you directly, freeing you up to focus on what you do best.

Once you've gotten through the crisis, take some time to reflect on how you handled it, and how that affected the resolution of the situation. Rejoice in your personal development, and look forward to the next challenge, because you know you will be able to overcome it with confidence!